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    June 13

    我的这些年

        六月的校园给我最后的回忆应该是5年前的日子了,占座,温习,卡马西平,苯妥英钠,诸如此类繁琐的种种,不停地记忆并且重复,这就是那个初夏的所有故事。对了,那个夏天我还去参加过一个英语竞赛,得了二等奖,这是这辈子第一次参加这样的比赛,应该也是最后一次。

        再一次踩着单车,飘荡在这篇校园的时候。车还是那部车,周遭的花草树木应该也是相差无几的那些花草树木,只是这个人,我不知道还是不是从前的那个人。图书馆一如既往的在六月开始的时节繁忙起来;风吹过唦唦躁动的大片梧桐;昏黄夜影里面隐约缠绵的恋人;还有池塘小河里人造瀑布的水声。要用几个词语来形容这片同济园的感受,实在太过困难,但闭上眼睛的时候,你却总能感觉到无以名状的什么。

          7年了,不出意外,和这一切的渊源还要继续下去。厌倦回答别人一切关于理想和未来的问题。如果知道什么是好的,谁会选择坏的?所以也许就是那句古话,是福不是祸,是祸躲不过。回头看这7年,恋爱过,绝望过,颓废过,叛逆过,挂过科,作过弊,逃过课,热血沸腾过,愤世嫉俗过,趾高气昂过,垂头丧气过;一如一副麻将牌,东南西北中发白,最后“白”了。如果这算是一个轮回,这结局是来的早了还是晚了呢?

        从来没有失眠过,偶尔的几次意外除外。但是睡着的经历却截然不同,有的时候是长眠不醒,一觉醒来什么都不记得;也有的时候是整夜梦寐,一直到被吓得醒来冷汗一身。我的惊吓倒全然不是因为梦见怪兽恶魔,而是被从前情节的真实重现吓到。醒来摸一把脸,接着去继续生活。没人说也没法说,大概这就是生活吧。

        坐在公车上的时候,会想起从前的壮志雄心,要如何如何,要怎样怎样,现在看来着实有些可笑。人们习惯于鉴定现在和过去不同的想法,并且认定其为长大。然后引出长大了是好还是坏的哲学话题争执千年。而我呢?也许终究心里还是放不下,因此而在漩涡中挣扎向下。我依然怀念那段初夏校园的岁月,即便今天用一样的步子一样的时间去行走,终究还是回不去了。拥有不一定快乐,旁落却一定难过。这是从来都不曾妥协的人性。

        离开了,又离不开了。

    Comments (4)

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    三元 陈wrote:
    精彩的生命不一定要找出答案,热情的向往才能让人有能力去享受生活
    June 26
    lpwrote:
    您还没到写回忆录的时候呢~
    简单一点,洒脱一点,也开心一点~
    June 15
    Abbywrote:
    就在这样往复的纠结中,一生也就过去了
    June 13
    ida guwrote:
    为什么你的blog都好像情绪低沉的样子。。。
    June 13

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